Posts Tagged ‘positive outlook’
We all have feelings and emotions, sometimes we can feel hurt, sad, betrayed, let down and even angry or jealous when others don’t do as we would like them to or misunderstand the communications we have given or received from them. Now whether others should do what we want is debatable and depends on the context or situation and that is not what I’m getting at here. It is though a problem when we end up feeling those kind of emotions that do us harm because, to feel any of these feelings and emotions you have to internalise them and use some kind of harmful self talk, whether that be consciously or unconsciously to bring about these feelings of being angry, sad, hurt, betrayed, jealous or guilty, just to name a few.
There are times when these feelings are warranted however, there are times when they are not and I’m sure you know what I mean by this, as we are all guilty from time to time of doing just that, now these feelings damage us far more than they will ever do to anyone else and for those of us who tend to run those feelings over and over and over again, we can then sometimes end up feeling very unhappy way after the event is completely finished with and that is detrimental for your wellbeing both mentally and spiritually and the more problems you create by allowing feelings like this to get the better of you the more it affects your life and your personality, this then can then lead to even more problems like the feeling of low self esteem, lack of confidence and unhelpful self talk, if this is left to fester it would lead to serious depression and the negative effects to your health that go with it.
Start to ask yourself, what is this feeling telling me, what can I learn from this?
Use your feelings as a barometer to help you take a step back from any situation, rather than over reacting to it, start to ask yourself how is feeling this way helping you to get the results that you want, what can you learn from this? Forget the past, the only thing that is useful from the past is what you have learnt from your experiences, not how you feel when you think about those past events, unless they are happy and positive thoughts that is. There is no need to carry old burdens you had from your past as they do not serve you and if you had felt anger, sadness, hurt, fear or guilt about past events then it may well be doing you more harm than you realise.
What you can also do to help yourself is to listen to a hypnosis mp3 or see a hypnotherapist, this will help you at an unconscious level to help you become the person you want to be. Remember if you don’t like how you feel, the only person that can really change that is you, make the decision to live the life that you deserve. This now brings me nicely on to my new hypnosis track on Self Esteem and Relaxation which is for sale at less than the price of a decent cup of coffee, please see details below 🙂
Instructions on using this mp3. To get the best from this hypnosis mp3, is to listen to it before going to bed, over headphones and at a low and comfortable volume, either seated in a cosy chair or lying down, take a good 5 minutes out before starting to take some deep breaths and allow yourself to begin to relax, for best results listen to the hypnosis mp3 for 5 nights in a row, then take 2 nights off, repeat this pattern for 4 to 6 weeks, after this use as a “top up” when required.
***Hypnosis should never be listened to whilst driving or operating machinery.***
All music on this mp3 is Royalty Free music
Mystery main theme Music by….Alex Khaskin ( SOCAN ) publisher salieri music inc Native fire Music by….Alex Khaskin ( SOCAN ) publisher salieri music inc Pirates the love story Music by….Alex Khaskin ( SOCAN ) publisher salieri music inc Fairywinds Composers… Bjorn Lynne PRS(uk) Publisher Lynne Publishing (PSR) Pirates hereafter Music by….Alex Khaskin ( SOCAN ) publisher salieri music inc Big epic Music by…Alex Khaskin ( SOCAN ) publisher salieri music inc Lucid dreams Composers… Bjorn Lynne PRS(uk) Publisher Lynne Publishing (PSR) Time to breathe Composers… Bjorn Lynne PRS(uk) Publisher Lynne Publishing (PSR) Humankind Music by….Alex Khaskin ( SOCAN ) publisher salieri music inc
Love, Relationship and Confidence
Well with Valentine’s day fast approaching I thought I would write my blog around love, relationships and confidence which are all amazing states to feel, when they are going great that is. In and of themselves these feelings and emotions are great skills to use within your life not just for use in a romantic situation, after all you may love pets, friends and sometimes even family! and you will have some form of relationship with them too and to a certain degree you need to have confidence as well within all these situations. So confidence, what is it and how do we get it? The dictionary says…… “The quality of being certain of your abilities or having trust in people, plans or the future”.
But how can you feel confident in a situation that you was unsure about? Well first things first, confidence breeds more confidence so if you can switch off all that non helpful internal chatter that resides within yourself and then just stop trying to guess what others are thinking, that will take huge amounts of pressure off what you had been feeling and allow you to start seeing and feeling just how amazing you actually are and then maybe you can begin to feel the love for yourself the way you would love others that you care about, by the way when was the last time you looked in a mirror and said “I love being me I’m happy in my own skin, I like who I am and I will be more than I am right now “? because no matter what you think you are you will always be so much more than that, whether that be happier, more confident or even more wealthier, whether that is finances or your life becoming more richer and worthwhile, start to see what’s not just good but what’s great about your life and you too, then write it down.
Write what good qualities you think make you…. You
And notice just how amazing you are
Work on your own relationship with yourself and your relationship with others will become so much more fulfilling, remember you were once your own best friend, remember your inner child and that unconscious part of you that looks after you now as it has always done, even when you sleep. Begin to push your boundaries and step out of your comfort zone, do something every day that you had thought was not possible for you to do or you did not feel confident enough to do it and it will not be long before you’re feeling more and more confidence in yourself and the situation you choose to enter into whether that be love, friendships or relationships.
Have a great valentine’s day and remember any change no matter how small or how big is better than no change, choose to better your life today.
Some of you may have made some New Year’s resolutions, maybe you are sticking to them maybe you have not?
I personally did not set any as I prefer to set goals that are in alignment with want I really want to happen in my life and making them S.M.A.R.T goals, if that’s something of interest to you, see my last blog for more details. One of my goals that I’ve set for this year is to be more active and productive on my blog and podcast as most of last year went past very fast as I spent time studying everything that interested me and helping others make changes to their own lives. So with that in mind let me begin….. I thought I would start off with one idea that is of great value and so much more powerful than you would ever think and that’s…
In the self-help world and the world of helping yourself you will hear and see the word Gratitude a lot and the fact is that Gratitude is so much more powerful than you may think. People, Leaders and Gurus will all talk about how powerful gratitude is and how it is a game changer and it really is.
You may hear and see people taking about “The Secret” and the “Law of Attraction” the power of positive thought and how that can change the way you live your life and more importantly the way you feel about the life you live, you see the truth is most people don’t look more than a week or two ahead, or even a day or two ahead, they don’t set goals, outcomes and they don’t have a positive intent to back it all up, and they don’t feel gratitude every day, even when their life may be going just how they would like it to go, I know this doesn’t apply to everybody as you may be very future minded and if you are then that’s fantastic but if you’re not don’t blame yourself just realise you can change your life and it is so much easier than you may think!
The truth is with a small amount of work on your behalf you can get amazing results it’s not just about saying it once and it all starts to happen, it’s about making it a life pattern and feeling grateful even when all hell is breaking loose!
That may sound and look like you will have to put a lot of effort in yet the mind learns at an unconscious level and can make this as effortless as remembering to brush your teeth, so now you can see why some people will say it doesn’t work for them they will say I tried it and it did not work for me, but did they really?
You will hear and see some people talking about the law of attraction how they tried it and how it did not work for them. They probably thought about a sports car and winning the lottery, owning the mansion and probably let that run though their mind once or twice and then thought that it would just appear out of thin air…..! they may have said they were grateful a few times then went right back to their old reality and they may end up saying “well it might work for others but it hasn’t worked for me!”
If you wanted to learn to climb mountains you wouldn’t start on Everest would you? So with that in mind, how would you like to change your life for the better and start getting more of the life that you truly deserve? Well if you do I’ve got one word for you……. “Gratitude” if done right it really is a game changer!
Now where to start……
Get a pen and a note pad now set aside one hour of your time, sit down and take four nice deep breaths and relax, now begin to write down any and everything that you can feel grateful for and as you do this feel the Gratitude, continue to do this until the hour is up.
Now depending on how great you feel about your life now or not, your list will be either long or short and that does not matter as it’s a living list that you add too and the more you feel grateful the more grateful you become.
The next thing you want to do when you have written your list, is just before you go to bed that night and every night from that night on read through your list and feel the Gratitude and I mean feel it, see it, taste it, hear it, there is a lot to feel grateful for after all you are so much more than you think you are in fact whatever you think you are, you will be that and so much more too.
Now add to your list as and when you can, do this every night before you go to bed. Read though your list and add at least one new thing. Then again every morning, read them, feel the Gratitude and add to the list even if it’s only a few new ones, do this everyday and make it a habit because when you do this and you really feel the gratitude your life and your world will become a better place and so much more
If you’re having trouble finding things to feel Gratitude for start by asking yourself these questions and write down your answers Ask yourself what is it that really matters to you? What can you appreciate about yourself and the world around you? How do you know when your happy what tells you your happy? What happens in your life every day that you may take for granted? Some words from a great mentor of mine come to mind…
Stop looking for what is a problem and start noticing what is not a problem in your life.
Because that’s where the answers are.
The life we live is so fast and so full of things to do that most people never really get to do all the things that they want and because of the way that our mind works we tend to spend so much of our time thinking about the things that we don’t want in our lives instead of the thing we do, we sometimes worry about the past or the future and all too often we let the past influence our future before it even happens, we let our minds run wild with the what if this happens, what if that doesn’t happen and it is never from a positive perspective, this kind of behaviour can lead to anxiety and low self-esteem which will only make your life seem worse than it really is.
For example, you could take two people, one with a positive outlook on life and one who is negative then set them though the same events over a 24 hour period:- a mixture of fun and misfortune, after the event ask them about their experience, the negative person will only have seen what was bad about their day and have almost no recollection that fun things had happened to them, it’s almost as if the fun things did not happen at all, were as the positive person will make the best of any event and focus their thoughts on living in the now and seeing the fun parts of the day and dismissing any unpleasant events from their life because they know that there is no value to worrying over spilt milk things happen in life – yet to miss chances to feel happy or have fun and not to live in the here and now it is an injustice to yourself as there is no way of undoing what has passed and letting the past affect your future will only give you more of the same, take responsibility for your life and your actions because when you do this you can begin to shape your life into more of what you do want and even when things don’t go as planned you will see them from a different perspective allowing you to make the best of any situation and recover much faster from any negative event that may happen to you.
So how could you start to change if you’re more inclined to feel or see the negative side of things?
Well the good news is you already have the skills and all that you need to do is change your behaviour and if you’re anything like I was you will have got very good at looking for the negative in anything.
Now all you must do is start to look for the positive in every situation, it is the same skill that you have already been using – it’s just like switching the polarity.
So the next time something happens that you would have felt bad about in the past ask yourself how could I see this differently and what could I learn from this, how does feeling this way benefit me and what positive benefits can I gain from this experience? the more you do this the better you will get at it and the better you get the more your life will begin to change for the better, your mind will begin to look for more and more of positive events and begin to delete the negative events from your experience as if they did not happen at all and that can only make your life far better and for less stressful – is that not something that you deserve to feel for yourself?